Winkle - Rainbow Bridge March 25, 2009‏

Last night Winkle was huddled in the corner of his hutch and was all fluffed out so we knew something was wrong. He wouldn't eat not even blueberries one of his favourites. We checked to make sure he wasn't blocked or anything like that - he wasn't. We wrapped him up in a towel and cuddled him gently all night. He made noises occasionally like he was in discomfort but would settle if I gently touched or stroked him. I woke up shortly before the alarm went off and he was still with us. When I woke up at 5 am he was gone. He was not quite 6 yrs old. The last of the original Critter Crew. Bye Winks - I love you and I miss you. Make sure you say hello to everyone and I hope Widget, Licorice, Smokes and Squeeeks were there to meet you and are showing you where all the best treats and timothy hay can be found. Say hi to Bruno, Thistle, Tipple-Scritch and Snipset for us. As well as all the other furry friends that have touched our lives. Say hi to the two legged ones too please.Thanks for being a part of my life. You were and are cherished.

The WCB

Today I called the caseworker from Workman's Comp because I was concerned that the reports I was being sent to complete or have completed didn't have my leg injury on them.
 She took the opportunity to take detailed notes and find out when all my past and upcoming appts were and are. She was really nice. Embarrassed me tho. She said you are so brave. My response was my usual - I just do what I have to. She said, no you are brave and she emphasized it again when she heard how long I've been dealing with this illness. She said that the person that I dealt with initially at the WCB couldn't say enough about me. She said that they deal with people that just have aches and pains and take time off and here I am back at work. I said that it doesn't do me any good to sit at home and mope. Not that I don't mope but I would rather be busy because it's better for me.

It was an interesting perspective of me. I really don't think of myself in this way. If anything I feel bad about how much I moan at p when I am not feeling and certain of my friends that are privy to my complaining. I guess there are a lot of people who take advantage of the system.

She was concerned that I was using my lieu time for Drs appts. She said you know the WCB will pay for it. And you can probably even get work to front the money and be paid back by the WCB. She was worried that I would use it all up for this and not have anything left if something else happened. It's nice to know I have that option - but I would rather do it the way I am currently. It is also nice to know that a complete stranger on a government board is so supportive.

It restores my faith in the system. Especially after my experience last year when the insurance company was going to deny my claim because it was an unreasonable amount of time to be recovering from pneumonia. Again, I was lucky - the nurse at work stepped in and took care of it and set the insurance company straight. I know that even if she hadn't Jeff would have fought for me but because she did intervene I wasn't put through an undue amount of stress because it got resolved so quickly. And I am grateful to CP for that. We think that the reason it was denied was because the more experienced insurance agent had gone on holiday and his replacement was new and only saw a chance to save the company money - not that there was a legitimate claim. He probably didn't fully read through my case! All he saw was a longer then usual recovery and going by the books it could be denied!
But back to the WCB - I really feel supported.

A lot of paperwork though. She wants me to check in monthly even if nothing has changed - and I need to keep them apprised of any appointments related to my leg. Oh, and I think my caseworker was surprised/impressed at the depth of understanding I have about my current problem. That's despite not being able to look at the injury myself! She said it sounds like I am in good hands with the care I am receiving. I agree.
 I have to remember to do a couple of things - one is some forms that HR is supposed to provide me with. I guess they didn't bother because I am back at work seemingly with no limitations. Tecnically that is true. There are no limitations that afffect my work. Just the rest of my life!! Like the no exercise...

Speaking of my leg. Here is where things are at. I saw PS and Jeff at PMH last Thursday on the 12th. She doesn't think that the iodide gel is the right treatment as it is not a debrider. It is good for keeping bacteria down and preventing infection. She even looked it up and tried to consult with a colleague. However, she said we would stick with it until the end of two weeks which is March 21st. She thinks hydrogel or the Silversorb would be better for debriding purposes. But she didn't want to keep changing the treatment either because that was the third approach taken to date.

Then Jeff came in and took a look and said I need to see a plasic surgeon. He asked if I could do it through my GP because although PMH has plastic surgeons they are used to dealing with oncology related issues which tecnically mine isn't in the sense that it wasn't directly caused by cancer. Yes, related but not directly. That makes sense to me actually. So we asked if p's GP (and I don't mean guinea pigs in this case!) would take me on as a patient. He said yes and wrote me a referral letter for a plastic surgeon at St. Joes in Toronto. That was to be sent today. PS said that it's not likely that they will want to do a skin graft for a couple of reasons. One is why make another wound when there is alrwady one not healing. Another is where would they get the graft from? My skin due to the prednisone is too fragile and in no shape to use. She said she thought it more likely that they would go in and clean out the necrotic tissue manually. I am not looking forward to that. Actually, I am kind of hoping they might suggest using maggots. It is apparently not painful. They just stick them in the wound and cover them up and let them do their thing! Who knows. At any rate by March 21st if the Iodide hasn't worked P- wants them to use Silversorb or Hydrogel.

The wound is 7 cm up and down my leg and about 4 cm wide. There is some concern about some redness around the perimenter of the wound as apparently it has increased somewhat. So p is keeping an eye on that. It's quite deep - apparently very close to the bone. All this from a fall down the stairs. Sigh. Yes I know. I could have broken my neck and I am grateful I didn't. The fall happened February 5th - today it is March 16th. And it hasn't started healing. There is yellow slough and I gather black eschar - all necrotic type tissue. I really can't look.

Better Day and Preston Photos

Today was a better day. I took all my pills last night and by the end of day I had pretty much equalized out.

As it turns out I was wrong about Dr. E. not being there. Apparently she turns lights off for some patients. She didn't finish with that patient until 6:00. Sigh. I should know better. But honestly I don't like to knock and S, her admin, said you should have knocked. I never knock I just wait. Next time I will knock. Feel silly about it. But in a way, perhaps it's just as well. I was a real mess and would have probably had a breakdown all over Dr. E. Which is what she's there for - but I just don't have the energy to spend on meltdowns. It leaves me feeling as bad or as worse as I did yesterday forgetting my pills.

My friend Paula sent me some pictures of her horse Preston that were done professionlly. They are absolutely gorgeous. I hope she doesn't mind but I want to post them here to share with my few followers! If you do mind Paula, let me know, and I will remove them.

Horrible Day

I did not start the day well by forgetting to take my pills. So of course emotional rollercoaster is precipate. Then I had to present to CK & KG a vendor proposal. I think the presentation content was good but I wrecked it by interjecting with blah blah blah at a couple of different points. Oh and I only gave the presentation to K because due to the vagaries of MS technology even tho C accepted the meeting invitation it wasn't in his calendar. He arrived just as we finished. Then I made the mistake of raising the problem I am having reconciling the numbers for NH & JK. Why can't you? I try to explain. Well is their DB your responsibility? No. Well then there is bothing you can do. And forget about why LG was doing the support work. What does that have to do with what you are responsible for. Of course he then turned around and said make sure you communicate through JM. He says to JM we don't want them to think we don't support them. So in other words he wants JM to do the communication because he perceives NH and I asd having an adversarial relationship which we don't. Yes we have bumped heads but I don't think it is a prevalent grudge because we are able to get along just fine. I think CK sees me as only being able to raise problems without solutions. I don't think my problem solving style works with him I am a bouncer - I like to discuss and bounce stuff off people. But it gets turned into here's the solution which is not what I am looking for. I guess I should just keep my mouth shut. Maybe setting up bi-weekly status meetings wasnLt such a good idea. But how can we figure each other out otherwise. Of course I think he has already pegged me.On to the rest of the day. Yesterday Dr. E's assistant called to confirm my appt with her today. She said it was 5:30. I said are you sure? We had said 4:t0. No it says 5:30 in the calendar. I left a little later then I meant to and when I finally got to Queen's Park the escalators to the street weren't working. It just about killed me by the time I got to the top of the stairs. Then it was miserable and drizzling and I couldn't walk fast because I was out of breath so I was soaked by the time I got to the doors. I did manage to get our RXs - but Janet gave me a strange look I guess because I looked liked something the cat dragged in. So then I go upstairs to my appt. I realize Dr. E is not there because the lights our out. I really should have trusted my instincts. I think the calender is a DST glitch. My phone changed all the times of my appointments in my phone calendar and I was thinking I bet my appt is actually 4:30 not 5:30 and I bet there is some technology glitch.So I feel miserable and I am tired and I want to get off. Please stop the world.