Monday, October 29, 2007

Update on life

Licorice is doing much better. He's finally figured out we aren't trying to torture him and has figured out how to open his mouth so one of us (mostly p because he's around more then me) can shove little bits of food into his mouth. He's been sleeping with us most nights - he gets very shivery because of the loss of weight.

This past Saturday was a good friend's 5oth and I had promised to break in my chocolate fountain. We went, set it up and hung out for a bit, then had to go home to feed Licorice, with the intent of coming back. The fountain was the hit of the party (other then G's predator mask with accompanying face shield!) until we returned with Licorice in tow. Honestly, nothing phazes that little furball. He was calm and had a ball once he was put on the floor - running around the dining room under the table and in and out of the kitchen. Everybody LOVED him.

We got our china cabinet and table on Friday. While I have managed to clean the crap off the old table (with p's help it must be said) and basically set up the new table the old one is still in there. I hope we can get it out soon and start on de-cluttering the dining room. Photos to come! I must say it looks awesome even in the messy horrible state the room is in!! Hopefully p felt good enough today to do some cleaning.

P was sick on Sunday - miserably so. I had no idea how sick else I wouldn't have left to go to the Creative Sewing and Crafts show at the Metro Convention Centre with L. I came home and realized he'd left the kitchen stove burner on. Fortunately on low and without a pot on it but still... it makes me shudder. Although part of me doesn't feel very sympathetic! That's what you get for going crazy on the chocolate fountain and dipping carrots and broccoli as well as whatever else was SUPPOSED to be dipped in it! But I hate it when he feels rotten - quite frankly it scares me. So it was probably better that I was out to leave him in peace.

Money situation is looking much better I'm soooo relieved. We just need to submit the required junk to the broker and hopefully in a week or so we'll have the new mortgage in place which means way better cash flow and that we can start saving for a cushion.

It's funny, but as p says, things seem to work out -even when I think we are the most desperate all-time low, something happens to get us through. And now we can do better then just getting through which I'm very happy about.

gotta go catch the GO!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Licorice

I'm scared he won't make it.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Socrates to the Rainbowbridge

p called me at about 2:20. He'd taken Socrates to the vet. Despite the many doses and two different kinds of antibiotics he is not getting better. He has a third abscess starting on his cheek and the other one has not even begun to drain - except perhaps through his ear. So, the vet felt, as do we, that it is only cruel to keep prolonging the pain. p said that even today it's gotten worse as anytime Socrates is touched he squeeks. Rats never squeek except under extreme duress.
I can't bear it. The poor little mite never harmed anyone. He's never once bitten anyone except his brother and that was in rough and tumble play. But even when we hurt him (to try and make him better) he never bit us. He would just squirm and lick and lick and kiss to try and make us stop.
What's even worse is I can't be there to say good-bye. I asked p to give him kisses for me. But I feel awful for p being there alone and having to drive back by himself with the little body. And I know he's crying.
Please please forgive us Socrates for any of the pain we've put you through. We love you very much and always will. Thank you for the time you have graced our lives with.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Days of Daze

There are days when I come into the office (like this one) and it feels surreal. Am I really here? Doing this job? It doesn't feel like it's real. And I wonder how I got here and why.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Removal of a millstone around my neck

On Saturday p and I went to see RF - our mortgage broker. Based on the advice of CH the Saturday we went to see CH. C had suggested we ask for a 35 - 40 year mortgage with a variable rate which should hopefully cover all our debts except for what I owe Dad. If C is right, we should be able to put $500 a month into a money market fund, with the goal of reaching a minimum of $3000. This would still free up our cash flow. We still need to wait until March as that is when our renewal is due. RF said there is no point in incurring a penalty.

RF seems to think it would free up even more cash then CH thought. Not so sure about that myself as my monthly outflow currently exceeds whgt I'm making. We've only gotten as far as we have by judicious raiding of last years stocks and RRSPs. And I have to admit I have resorted in the last month to making some payments for some things (like loan payment) by credit card. Bad - bad bad. I so can't wait to be done with this separate debt. I'm only going to keep the AMEX and CT mastercards and p will keep his VISA.

RF was interesting - and had some good advice. While the bank, the last time we consolidated our debts, essentially told us to get rid of all our credit cards, RF asked "how many credit cards do you need?" The correct answer is one. For emergencies. Preferably emergencies only.

My caveat to that is, if you make a purchase using credit card only do so if you have the cash flow to pay it off immediately. I've know that for a long time and always tried to follow that but it's been absolutely impossible the last few years. Mostly because of the fracas with my former employer's limited health care plan and Trillium. I never should have signed up for the company health care plan because it had a cap of $5000. I was of course past that in three months.

I was at PMH last week to pick up my Gleevec medications. And while I was there I noticed they are selling stones with an inscription. Even before I saw the inscription the magpie in me said "I want". The inscription on the stone is "Gratitude".The stone comes in a little velvet bag with an piece of paper that reads "Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie.

I keep it on my desk on the left side of my computer at work when I am there so I can pick it up and hold it. Maybe the act of holding will help me focus on all the things I am grateful, truly grateful for instead of thinking of the things that cause me despair.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Licorice

Licorice went to see Dr. P today to have his teeth trimmed. Yesterday when Dr. P saw him he said his teeth have pushed in further then before. He suspects it might be a bone infection - which is really hard to treat and clear up.

Or, even worse, it might be a bone tumour.

Why Licorice? He is the sweetest guinea pig - so full of personality. I helped Widget give birth to him - which p said astonished Dr. P as apparently he's never heard of any of his slaves with gp's witnessing a birth. Licorice is fearless - the bunnies and silly don't phase him at all and he will willingly explore anywhere in the house where the other gps huddle and make messes on the floor out of nerves. We call him Mr. Klicky-Toes because of the sound he makes running around on the hardwood floors and the kitchen laminate.

I named him Licorice because of his colours. He is black and orange - it reminded me of Tiger-tail ice cream, so Licorice it was.

The very first time Licorice went to the vet they were so charmed by him that they asked us where we got him from.

p is going to pick Licorice up in about an hour. He came through the surgery (they had to put him out to trim his molars) and is groggy at the moment. This morning after trying to get some Critical Care (CC) into him i held a handful of rolled oats (the porridge making kind - not instant but not the hour long boiling ones either) and he ate them from my hand. p seems to think that Licorice eats more when I am around. I've spent lots of time feeding him blades of grass one by one. Just to get some fibre into him.

I so love that little guy. It really burns me that he out of all of the gps is the one having the problems. I love them all, but he really holds a special place in my heart. Just like Widget who was my therapy piggie. She died early too. I just don't get it. It makes you want to rage and scream at the powers that be - animals are innocent. Why do they have to have illnesses and suffer.
And then there is Socrates. Which I can't bear to think about how much he is going through yet is still sweet natured and has never once bitten either of us despite the nasty antibiotics we've had to force down him. He does scream which makes both of us feel two inches tall. He's now on his fourth or fifth cyst/abcess. He smells bad all the time because of the necrolyzing junk in the cyst. This one is right on his right cheek. And on top of that he has had a nasty ear infection and is only just healing from the cyst on his belly.
I just can't stand it.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My Hallowe'en Habits as stolen from Canada

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

You're a friendly person, but not the life of the party. You like making someone else's day - and you'll dress up if you think of a really fun costume.

No one quite understands you, but everyone also sort of worships you. And that's exactly how you like it.

Your inner child is stubborn and a bit bossy.

You fear those closest to you finding out who you really are. You dread people discovering your secrets.

You're prone to be quite emotional and over dramatic. Deep down, you enjoy being scared out of your mind... even if you don't admit it.

You are a traditionalist with most aspects of your life. You like your Halloween costume to be basic, well made, and conventional enough to wear another year.

How many people in the US have my Name? (but what about Canada?)


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are
4
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

My Vampire Name

stolen from Canada

Your Vampire Name Is...
Isis the Bloody

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Urban Sprawl

p and I went to Brampton yesterday (Saturday) to visit a friend to get financial advice from him. That was lovely, we had a nice lunch and got some good advice.

We then decided to go for a drive up Highway 10 as I wanted to see my old barn where I used to ride during high school and p wanted to see an old victorian farmhouse he almost bought with his ex-girlfriend.

I knew Brampton has grown, but it flabbergasted me to see just how much it has grown. Then we drove by the farm and turned around to come back. I am really depressed about this - there was a sign to the south side of what used to be the outdoor ring that had all the jumps in it. The sign said 10.1 acres for sale. It looks like whoever bought the farm from Lynn is selling off some of the property. I also didn't see any horses in the big pasture which looks very overgrown. A lot of work appears to have been done on the house which in my riding days was in terrible condition. I think Lynn spent whatever money she had on the barn and the horses and didn't really care or have enough cash flow to do anything about the house. But it makes me really sad to see them selling part of the property because I know that means a subdivision will probably be built there. And even if the new owners of the property actually do have horses if a subdivision goes up they'll get kicked out eventually because of people complaining about the smell.

I am really upset about the farm - I'm not quite sure how to express how awful and sad it makes me feel to see this happening. And, as always, from the days I was a teenager and living in Brampton, I despise the fact that greed rules and some of the best farmland in Canada, possibly the world is being ruined for crappy new housing and that there are no controls to prevent it. I do not want to be dependent on other countries for my food. It's just wrong. And I so wish I had known that the farm was being sold and that I somehow could have figured out a way to buy it.