Removal of a millstone around my neck

On Saturday p and I went to see RF - our mortgage broker. Based on the advice of CH the Saturday we went to see CH. C had suggested we ask for a 35 - 40 year mortgage with a variable rate which should hopefully cover all our debts except for what I owe Dad. If C is right, we should be able to put $500 a month into a money market fund, with the goal of reaching a minimum of $3000. This would still free up our cash flow. We still need to wait until March as that is when our renewal is due. RF said there is no point in incurring a penalty.

RF seems to think it would free up even more cash then CH thought. Not so sure about that myself as my monthly outflow currently exceeds whgt I'm making. We've only gotten as far as we have by judicious raiding of last years stocks and RRSPs. And I have to admit I have resorted in the last month to making some payments for some things (like loan payment) by credit card. Bad - bad bad. I so can't wait to be done with this separate debt. I'm only going to keep the AMEX and CT mastercards and p will keep his VISA.

RF was interesting - and had some good advice. While the bank, the last time we consolidated our debts, essentially told us to get rid of all our credit cards, RF asked "how many credit cards do you need?" The correct answer is one. For emergencies. Preferably emergencies only.

My caveat to that is, if you make a purchase using credit card only do so if you have the cash flow to pay it off immediately. I've know that for a long time and always tried to follow that but it's been absolutely impossible the last few years. Mostly because of the fracas with my former employer's limited health care plan and Trillium. I never should have signed up for the company health care plan because it had a cap of $5000. I was of course past that in three months.

I was at PMH last week to pick up my Gleevec medications. And while I was there I noticed they are selling stones with an inscription. Even before I saw the inscription the magpie in me said "I want". The inscription on the stone is "Gratitude".The stone comes in a little velvet bag with an piece of paper that reads "Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie.

I keep it on my desk on the left side of my computer at work when I am there so I can pick it up and hold it. Maybe the act of holding will help me focus on all the things I am grateful, truly grateful for instead of thinking of the things that cause me despair.